Always Leaving

So I just sit here, watching my body slip into oblivion while my mind is roaming elsewhere in some unknown confines of time and space. And I make up these stories in my head of how my life should look, living through my fictional characters so my life will be perfect, but it never works out that way. Life gets in the way and it happens to the best of us. It's really hard to grasp onto reality when you live through someone else's life, especially when that someone is a fictional character. The lines get blurred and torn apart. Questions are asked but the answer can never be given, or when it is given I can never comprehend. And when comprehension is obtained, I forget what the question was. I have come to know a comfortable place in my life and I like it just fine here, yet I am never satisfied. I keep seeking something more but I am never motivated to get out of my seat to take hold of it. I have yet to jump off the edge and take that risk. So please don't go. Caution is needed and so I wait. I make plans and break them. I analyze every detail and once I think I have it all figured out I couldn't be further from the truth. And yet, I do it every time. Every single time something like this happens, I make the same mistakes over and over and over and over and over again. And no matter how hard I try to see, I cannot help but prove true the cliche of hindsight being better than foresight. While I'm caught up in not jumping to conclusions, I let that potential die, and then when my mind is finally made up, it's gone. It always leaves. They say that they won't but they do. And in my current state of unwanted complacency, it hurts when they leave. Because in my life, they always leave.